Checkout
Keys, check.
Wallet, check.
Reusable grocery bags, we're not really green but we try, check.
Plug firmly in my ass, check.
"Ready dear?" I ask.
"Yep, lets go."
Grocery bags in tow we load into the car.
I generally don't care for going grocery shopping, a subject of some angst earlier in our marriage. The solution still surprises me to this day. I guess one should never underestimate the benefits of an 11oz metal butt plug, a stiff suspension, and a road perpetually under-construction.
In addition, my better half has taken to rubbing my cock through my pants during the drive to see how hard she can make me before we arrive. At best I show up hot, horny and hard having had my ass pummeled by the road and my cock rubbed raw. At worst her ministrations take me too far and I end up with a heavy load of cum soaking into my lap. In which case I stay in the car to marinade and she has to shop alone, so it is a fine balance.
I don't cum this time, but lord knows I wanted too. Nearly did but when the rhythm of my breathing changed, my wife eased up. Treacherous spouse, I don't think she wants to shop solo this time.
Shopping is uneventful, it's usually the there-and-back that I enjoy. We make our rounds through the various aisles, selecting our items and seeing the occasional familiar face.
Being in public while sporting a sex toy is always a thrill. There is the the taboo what-if-we-get-caught sensation but I also can't help wonder, if I am walking around with lovingly filled rear, I wonder what someone else here might be doing.
Eventually we end up in the produce section, for the second time.
"Did we forget something dear?" I ask.
"I wanted to get something for desert."
Looking at the broccoli, cabbage and brussels sprouts on display I hope she's joking.
"We already picked up shortbread and berries, do you want something from the pastry counter?" I offer hopefully.
"No, they have what I want here." She replies, picking out a yellow squash, testing it for ripeness.
Pausing in consideration, she looks over at me, "Do you think you can take this?"
Ever striving to be the considerate husband, I take the squash and begin putting it in the cart.
My wife starts laughing.
"What?", I ask.
Leaning closer still laughing she says, "I meant, do you think you can take that in your ass?"
"Ohhhh," red faced I reply, "Well it will be fun trying, but I think I can."
I guess we're shopping for biodegradable, 100% organic dildos.
"Let's see what else we can find." my wife says.
After about ten minutes of hefting, tapping, whispering and the occasional snicker we have a selection of three deserts. One squash, one zucchini and a cucumber that in the corporate world one would call a stretch goal.
Checking out at the register can be an amusing affair when one's purchases are multi-purposed. I wonder if the cashier recognizes the significance of the three individually wrapped vegetables separated from our other produce. She keeps smiling at my dearest, maybe she thinks the all-natural phalli are for a more conventional deployment. We have a less-than-conventional household.
