Checkout

Checkout
Keys, check.
Wallet, check.
Reusable grocery bags, we're not really green but we try, check.
Plug firmly in my ass, check.

"Ready dear?" I ask.

"Yep, lets go." 

Grocery bags in tow we load into the car.  

I generally don't care for going grocery shopping, a subject of some angst earlier in our marriage.  The solution still surprises me to this day.  I guess one should never underestimate the benefits of an 11oz metal butt plug, a stiff suspension, and a road perpetually under-construction. 

In addition, my better half has taken to rubbing my cock through my pants during the drive to see how hard she can make me before we arrive.  At best I show up hot, horny and hard having had my ass pummeled by the road and my cock rubbed raw.  At worst her ministrations take me too far and I end up with a heavy load of cum soaking into my lap.  In which case I stay in the car to marinade and she has to shop alone, so it is a fine balance.

I don't cum this time, but lord knows I wanted too. Nearly did but when the rhythm of my breathing changed, my wife eased up. Treacherous spouse, I don't think she wants to shop solo this time.  

Shopping is uneventful, it's usually the there-and-back that I enjoy.  We make our rounds through the various aisles, selecting our items and seeing the occasional familiar face. 

Being in public while sporting a sex toy is always a thrill.  There is the the taboo what-if-we-get-caught sensation but I also can't help wonder, if I am walking around with lovingly filled rear, I wonder what someone else here might be doing.

Eventually we end up in the produce section, for the second time.

"Did we forget something dear?" I ask.

"I wanted to get something for desert."

Looking at the broccoli, cabbage and brussels sprouts on display I hope she's joking.  

"We already picked up shortbread and berries, do you want something from the pastry counter?" I offer hopefully.

"No, they have what I want here." She replies, picking out a yellow squash, testing it for ripeness.

Pausing in consideration, she looks over at me, "Do you think you can take this?"

Ever striving to be the considerate husband, I take the squash and begin putting it in the cart.

My wife starts laughing.

"What?", I ask.

Leaning closer still laughing she says, "I meant, do you think you can take that in your ass?"

"Ohhhh," red faced I reply, "Well it will be fun trying, but I think I can."

I guess we're shopping for biodegradable, 100% organic dildos.

"Let's see what else we can find." my wife says.

After about ten minutes of hefting, tapping, whispering and the occasional snicker we have a selection of three deserts. One squash, one zucchini and a cucumber that in the corporate world one would call a stretch goal. 

Checking out at the register can be an amusing affair when one's purchases are multi-purposed.  I wonder if the cashier recognizes the significance of the three individually wrapped vegetables separated from our other produce. She keeps smiling at my dearest, maybe she thinks the all-natural phalli are for a more conventional deployment. We have a less-than-conventional household.